Skip to content

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas in My Foreclosed House

The Night Before Christmas (December 2008)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, in My Foreclosed House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.
The bills were all hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes for assistance or even a prayer.

The children were nestled on the floor without beds,
While visions of soup kitchens danced in their heads.
And momma in her long johns, and I a bad mood,
Had just sold our furniture for medicine and food.

When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the floor to see what was the matter.
Is it repo, or eviction, should I run or hide?
I went to the window, and then peaked outside.

The moon on the breast of some new-fallen cash,
Gave the luster of riches to a fluttering stash.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a government hand-out, for banks, oh dear!

It was the Treasury cashier from a Wall Street Bank,
I knew, in a moment, it was Paulson – St. Hank!
Lured by free cash and bonuses, the banks, they all came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now, Citibank! Now, Mellon! Now, JPMorgan-Chase and Bank America!
On, Goldman Sachs! On, Morgan Stanley! On, Capital One and Comerica!
To the top of the greed! To the top of them all!
Now cash away! Cash away! Cash away all!”

As great profits that before the wild investments fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, they leverage to the sky.
So up to the Treasury the bankers they flew,
With a limo of bad debt, and their own St. Hank, too.

And then, Oh! The tinkling, of money, far above,
Is it trickle down, from Bush Cheney, with love?
As my hopes were surging, and I was turning around,
Down the chimney his Hanky-ness came with a bound.

He was dressed in pinstripe, from his head to his foot,
And his image all tarnished with loose cash and soot.
A bundle of junk debt he had on his back,
And he looked like a con-man, just opening his sack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He took the last of my cash, oh what a jerk!
And leaving his debt, piled up to my nose,
And giving a sneer, up the chimney he rose

He sprang to his limo, to the banks gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a cash-guided missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and hold all your cash tight!”

by d.g.walder

(also posted at

12 Steps to Snarkalicious Thanksgiving Gratitude

I love Thanksgiving! It’s a great weekday holiday, a tasty tradition celebrated almost solely by gluttonous revelry. Between bites of stuffing and swigs of hard cider I’m breaking tradition with this thoughtful meditation on gratitude. Actually, just some quick giving of thanks that comes to mind during commercial breaks. Here are the top twelve “thanks” that I can think of:

I am grateful that we come together to appreciate the bounty of the earth, our community of family and friends, and the work of all people

I am thankful that even with the sharp downturn in my personal economy that there are ways to help others that don’t require money.

I am thankful that gas prices have dropped, even though I can no longer afford my car payments.

I am thankful that most people still have jobs and that I don’t live in a socialist country like England, where health care is free, since the insurance company employees who have denied me health coverage would add to the unemployed and bring down the economy.

I am so grateful that big banks can work toward their American dream too and that when they lose huge risky bets with other people’s money, they have good friends in President Bush and Secretary Paulson to get some hassle-free cash over the weekend.

I am grateful that free market bankers, against all government interference when making gobs of money, are able to swallow some of their capitalistic pride to take trillions in socialistic corporate welfare to fix their bad bets, lost money and total collapse.

I am grateful that the taxpayers of America have finally rallied together in a cause we can believe in; bailing out the big banks, even though the banks made bad choices, have bad credit and have worthless stock, this shows the true spirit of helping those in need. (And their ongoing foreclosures and their unwarranted and unconscionable hikes in interest rates show that the banks haven’t lost their true spirit; they’re still trying!)

I am grateful that our good friends of democracy, such as China, Russia and Saudi Arabia, are willing to lend to us the billions we need to bail out our banks, fight for democracy in Iraq and provide tax cuts to oil companies.

I am grateful that the American people, the media and our politicians can so quickly forgive and forget the disastrous irresponsible illogical ideological risky greedy myopic behavior of boards of directors, officers, regulators, policy makers, the Bush administration and so many others who, despite their actions, knew better.

I am grateful that the companies that issued my credit cards are working hard to increase revenues so they can pay back the bailout loans, even though they’re doing it by surprising me with a doubling of my monthly interest and unbearable increases my monthly payments.

I’m grateful that we have term limits for President and that the tax and spend liberals are coming back, since we can’t afford another term of small government fiscal conservatives who borrow trillions to prop up their Wall Street friends after an unsupervised orgy of unprotected greed, endless spending on unneeded warfare, and even more money for oil companies, Halliburton and tax cuts for the rich.

I am grateful that President Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” claim may finally be just a few years away.

I am thankful that debtors’ prison has been eliminated, and even though we can lose it all in bankruptcy, and its tough finding a job, there’s still room in the shelter while the weather stays warm.

I am thankful for the poor hardworking people of distant countries, who make such cheap products for us to buy at our favorite big box stores, and grateful that Americans don’t have to do the work to make those products.

I am thankful that Native Americans provided such help and bounty to the early European settlers on the east coast; and even though I’m not sure where they are now, it’s too bad they’re gone since we could use some more help.

I will stop my thanking for now, though I am so thankful that I’ve been able to think of more than twelve thanks, so pardon me for my excesses and inconsistency with the title.

Oops! I should have thanked my family, especially those who cook and do dishes, and should have thanked those who serve in uniform, at home and abroad, and should have also thanked volunteers in soup kitchens and homeless shelters, and all who allow me to relax on this holiday, but I can’t, because I’ve got to get back to the table for desert, and the pumpkin pie looks fantastic! I am so grateful for pie. Have a happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy your piece of the pie.

[Note: This was cross-posted at]